Your kids are precious assets: how to protect them in divorce

On Behalf of | May 16, 2018 | divorce, Firm News

Family law commentators – authors, clinicians, researchers, psychologists and, of course, attorneys – routinely spotlight a number of topics relevant to the divorce realm. The marital dissolution process is unquestionably a singular and complicated experience for most involved parties, and it is unsurprising that it involves numerous and diverse challenges.

For many divorcing parties, though (and certainly for moms and dads), all other issues pale in consequence when compared with the continued welfare of affected children. We note on our Illinois family law website at Mitchell Highlander, LLC, that, “In a family legal dispute, the greatest concern parents have is the well-being of the children involved.”

Given parental love, that is almost a truism. It is expressly noted by a long-practicing child psychologist, parenting coordinator and author who recently spotlighted several parental tips for keeping kids grounded and healthy during the divorce process. Writer Joan B. Kelly’s special emphasis is on high-conflict dissolutions.

One key point that Kelly stresses is delivered via a lament that so few parents actually communicate effectively with their offspring during a notably disruptive and anxious period of their lives. They absolutely need to do so, she says, in an appropriate and age-specific way. When that doesn’t happen, she cautions, kids invariably “find it much harder to cope with the separation.”

And here’s a rather obvious point that Kelly imparts as a necessary adult reminder: “Act like grown-ups.” In a nutshell, that means avoiding behavior you wouldn’t accept in your kids. No tantrums or overt calling out of your impending ex in front of the children. No attempts to use the kids in any manner that hurts the other parent.

And don’t cut off communication channels that are a mainstay for your children. If they love spending time with your spouse’s relatives, that should continue to be an open door for them. It’s your battle – not theirs.

Experienced family law attorneys who routinely represent clients with children are empathetic and knowledgeable concerning child-centric divorce matters. Contacting proven legal counsel can help a parent know with confidence that the best interests of children will always be the paramount concern in a divorce, no matter how conflict-laden it might be.