Most couples do not enter marriage with a divorce in mind. People can and do change over time. Relationships also may change. Understanding why divorces take place requires one to get rid of all preconceived concepts of why they do, as infidelity is often perceived as the leading factor. Some of the other reasons people divorce may include:
A partner may become addicted to things such as sex, gambling, alcohol, and drugs among others. This leads to a neglect of the duty to provide, draining of family resources, as well as the potential for physical or emotional abuse. Consequently, the non-addicted partner may become depressed and begin to resent or hate the spouse. A divorce is more likely if the couple is not committed to solving the problem.
The lack of enough money to make ends meet can lead to frustrations and stress in a marriage. A couple may have differing opinions on how money ought to be spent, leading to constant disagreements. Amassing debt can create friction and arguments between spouses. In marriages where only one partner is bringing in income, disagreements over who should have the control of the money can cause marital discord.
Breakdown in communication
Lack of effective communication in a marriage leads to partners becoming frustrated and resentful towards each other. Meaningful conversations are avoided, and negative communication through shouting and yelling sets in if the avoidance is confronted. A lack of communication, even in the absence of arguments, may lead one or both spouses to the conclusion that the marriage has become loveless.
Constant arguments and disagreements
Incessant arguing between partners may eventually lead to divorce. In as much as disagreements are inevitable, each partner needs to feel that they are heard and respected. It becomes hard for a spouse to see the other one’s point of view if they feel unappreciated and unheard. This leads to a lot of arguing which may not always lead to a mutual resolution. The absence of a shared vision is a common source of discord, leaving couples with no common goals to share.
Addressing problem areas earlier on in the relationship can avert divorces. Involving a counselor is a great way of resolving marriage issues. In this way, you are assured that you tried alternative ways of making the marriage work out and that divorce was inevitably the last resort.
However, if divorce is inevitable, it may be more beneficial to focus on your post-divorce life, instead of dwelling on the strife in the marriage. Entering divorce with a positive attitude concerning the future can reduce the stress and emotional toll of the process.